FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri May 17 20 42 58 2013
TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?
GRACE
What for?
TRIP
That should be obvious!
GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!
TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!
GRACE
What -- Trip, don't give me that look!
JOHN
HAI
GRACE
You're going to drive me crazy!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Oh, he's here!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
No, he's right on time!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
Trip...!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
John!!
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! How are you doing, you look great!
JOHN
nice door bro
TRIP
Uh...
TRIP
Well come on in...
TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
JOHN
okay
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
JOHN
hurry up
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
GRACE
John,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!
TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing? -- (interrupted)
GRACE
I just asked him that...
TRIP
Well, I can ask him too!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
JOHN
im fine
GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha!
GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.
GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!
JOHN
thx
GRACE
Uh...
TRIP
Oh, John, take a look at this photo I just -- (interrupted)
PHONE
** RING **
GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --
TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.
PHONE
** RING **
PHONE
** RING **
JOHN
someone get da phone
TRIP
What? Wait, wait, let's just wait for the answering machine...
PHONE
** RING **
JOHN
no please
ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **
ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!
TRIP
Hold on, let me finish. (clears throat)
GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --
ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **
TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber. -- (interrupted)
ANSWERING MACHINE
Travis, are you there, it's your mother, I haven't heard from you and Grace in a while,
(JOHN picks up the phone.)
TRIP
John, no! Don't do that.
PHONE
Oh uh...
PHONE
Hello? Hello?
JOHN
hi
TRIP
Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.
GRACE
Oh!
PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.
TRIP
Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up.
PHONE
I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **
JOHN
wait a sec
(JOHN puts down the phone.)
TRIP
Oh, good, you hung up. I don't want to talk to her.
TRIP
Huh, y -- you two are really getting along well tonight...
JOHN
why?
TRIP
Uh -- well, um, we should drink.
TRIP
What -- what can I get you?
TRIP
We need to have something really fun,
TRIP
like a cosmopolitan?
TRIP
It's what we drink at these high-class poker games I go to with the execs at work.
GRACE
Trip, you don't need to push the high class drinks thing on our guests...
TRIP
Uh, John, it'll be great, what do you -- what do you say?
JOHN
i'm not into drinking
TRIP
Oh, I -- I thought you'd love that...
GRACE
Trip, dear, don't force your fancy drinks on him.
GRACE
John, Trip's getting a little carried away... maybe you just want some juice, or a mineral water?
TRIP
uhh... Grace...!
JOHN
no thanks
TRIP
Aha! Great! Drinks comin' right up!
TRIP
(quiet humming)
GRACE
(little sigh) Trip would try to serve you one of his high class drinks before even saying hello if he could.
TRIP
Wait, what did you say?
GRACE
(clears throat)
JOHN
but i dont want a drink
TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Wha... uh...
GRACE
Oh, Trip, he's just teasing you... It's good, we all need that once in a while.
TRIP
Heh heh ha ha ha ha, ha... -- (interrupted)
JOHN
im not teasing
GRACE
As for my drink...
GRACE
I'm not in the mood to drink tonight.
GRACE
Just some mineral water for me.
TRIP
Alright...
TRIP
Heh heh, John, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?
GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound)
JOHN
yes
TRIP
Y -- yeah, tonight is special!
TRIP
Here you are Grace, your drink is ready.
GRACE
Thanks.
TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized!
TRIP
John, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.
TRIP
Senior year of college!
GRACE
Oh... geez...
TRIP
Remember that?
JOHN
yes
TRIP
Here you are!
TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...
(JOHN picks up a player's drink.)
GRACE
Pain.
TRIP
Heh heh heh... Agony.
(JOHN puts down a player's drink.)
GRACE
Love.
TRIP
Uh, yeah, love, yeah, love.
TRIP
Alright, good, heh heh, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha.
JOHN
what?
TRIP
(little -- (interrupted)
GRACE
W -- wait, wait, what's wrong, Trip?
GRACE
Trip, it's okay if we disagree in front of our friend --
TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing.
JOHN
no its not right
TRIP
You don't agree? uh, okay, well...
(Trip shakes the advice ball.)
TRIP
Probably true.
TRIP
Hmm!
GRACE
(little sigh)
TRIP
Oh, John, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.
(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)
GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)
TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.
GRACE
(short petulant sigh)
GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.
(JOHN points to the italy picture.)
TRIP
Um... uhh, Now, John, in one word, what does this picture say to you?
(JOHN points to the italy picture.)
(JOHN points to the italy picture.)
GRACE
Say to you... say to you... yes, good question, good question.
JOHN
romance
TRIP
Right! Love! Romance!
GRACE
Romance? Ha, in our marriage, that's just a code word for manipulation.
TRIP
Grace, it'd been such a long time since we'd... had a chance to --
(JOHN sits on the couch.)
GRACE
You planned that trip without even asking me if I wanted to go!
GRACE
John, that's not the first time he's done that!
TRIP
(annoyed sigh)
GRACE
And you knew I planned to attend my friend's art show that weekend!
GRACE
A very good friend from college had a gallery show of his new paintings that weekend, and I missed it!
TRIP
What?
JOHN
vince?
TRIP
No don't criticize me anymore, it's just going to turn this even more ugly!
GRACE
Goddamn romance...
GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!
TRIP
(little impatient sigh) John, I...
TRIP
(frustrated sigh)
GRACE
Oh, John, yeah...
GRACE
I can predict what you'll say...
GRACE
You're so negative tonight, it's depressing me!
TRIP
Goddamn manipulation...
TRIP
You never listen to me! You don't believe anything I say! You just don't -- (interrupted)
JOHN
why do you say that?
TRIP
What, what -- what are you saying?
GRACE
Romance... goddamn...
(JOHN gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
How am I supposed to be happy and in love when you keep trying to act romantic and funny and all that bullshit? How?
TRIP
Oh, come on...!
GRACE
Alright, you know what, John,
GRACE
I'm going to ask you something.
TRIP
Grace --
GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE
John, yes or no...
GRACE
When you get married, you're just supposed to forgive and forget everything bad that happened before that, right?
JOHN
yes
GRACE
What...?!
GRACE
Oh, yes, that's fine... that's fine...
GRACE
The truth is Trip, I should never have said yes so fast to marrying you! You totally manipulated me, goddammit!
TRIP
Oh, come on...!
TRIP
Uhh! Yeah, go on, go away!
TRIP
I can't stand frigging looking at you!
TRIP
What the... goddammit!
TRIP
uhh!
JOHN
what happened?
TRIP
What? uhh... w -- what are you saying?
GRACE
What, Trip? Are you trying to talk to me?
TRIP
What's it to you?
TRIP
John, this is not normal, this has never happened.
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
Look, if -- if you want to go, just...
TRIP
Oh, Jesus... Christ...
GRACE
What? Are you trying to talk to me?
JOHN
do you understand anything i say?
GRACE
John, (annoyed sigh) Trip is sometimes so...
TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?
GRACE
What?
GRACE
John, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --
TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --
GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --
TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)
GRACE
Uhh...! God...!
JOHN
this is blasphemy
GRACE
What... I just...
JOHN
this is madness
TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.
JOHN
ok
GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!
TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?
GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don't listen.
TRIP
John, I'm not telling her what to do, I'm trying to help her!
JOHN
you're a phony
TRIP
See, I'm the one trying to reach out to you, Grace...
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.
TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do something nice for you, you resist it?
GRACE
Trip...
TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?
GRACE
John, you know, we... uhh...
JOHN
what
TRIP
It's just never easy with you, Grace, and it wears me down.
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
John, what, is there something I should do?
TRIP
Grace, I -- I want to take care of you...
GRACE
Trip...
JOHN
uh
GRACE
That's how it's always worked with us, Trip, you always seem to know exactly what I want...
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Grace...
TRIP
Okay, no, I want to focus on Grace.
GRACE
See, John, Trip always says, Grace, you're the only person I've ever loved...
GRACE
GRACE
and I'm the only person you've ever loved...
JOHN
maybe its true
GRACE
Yes?
TRIP
So yeah, I think we just need to realize that, that's all...
TRIP
Let's keep talking about Grace.
GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..
TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!
GRACE
Of course nobody thinks to ask me what I want.
TRIP
Oh, now it's all my fault. Just because your parents and I get along, now it's some big conspiracy.
GRACE
God...
JOHN
uh
TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.
(JOHN picks up a Trip's drink.)
GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.
(JOHN puts down a Trip's drink.)
(JOHN picks up a Trip's drink.)
TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots. -- (interrupted)
TRIP
John, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?
GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.
JOHN
yes
TRIP
You know what makes me so angry?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
How you've so conveniently forgotten how much you used to actually hate painting!
GRACE
John, I -- I -- uhh...!
(JOHN puts down a Trip's drink.)
(JOHN picks up a player's drink.)
GRACE
Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college,
GRACE
you convinced me to go into advertising, instead of art!
TRIP
What?
GRACE
If it weren't for you, I could be a real artist by now.
TRIP
Uhh... John, uhh...
TRIP
That's bullshit.
GRACE
Uhh...
TRIP
Okay, no, I want to focus on Grace.
GRACE
You know, anytime we talk about the past... especially college... I get this sharp pain in my stomach...
TRIP
Jesus, Grace...
TRIP
John, that's...
JOHN
i need my alcohol
GRACE
God, John, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff, please? (frustrated sigh)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
(JOHN sips his player's drink.)
TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.
TRIP
John, you think this is all my fault, don't you?
GRACE
See, you lied to me from the moment we got married, insisted I'd be better off in -- (interrupted)
(JOHN puts down a player's drink.)
JOHN
no
TRIP
No?
TRIP
Thank you, just saying that should help us! Grace, I was trying to help you -- -- (interrupted)
(JOHN picks up a martini glass 2.)
(JOHN puts down a martini glass 2.)
GRACE
Uhh, that brass bull... it's just so infuriating...
(JOHN picks up a Trip's drink.)
TRIP
What?
GRACE
How you put that goddamn 'gift' on display in our own living room!!!
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
TRIP
Uhh...
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
TRIP
No, you're -- look, you -- you're really -- you're really reading into things here, Grace... (frustrated sigh)
(JOHN sips his Trip's drink.)
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
(JOHN puts down a Trip's drink.)
(JOHN picks up the brass bull.)
GRACE
John, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?
TRIP
See, Grace, you're the one turning this into such a big issue. -- (interrupted)
JOHN
no
GRACE
No?
GRACE
Oh, thank God you disagree, that really helps us!
TRIP
Uhh, okay, look, if I didn't save you, I definitely helped you...
TRIP
And at the time, you were happy for that!
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
Okay, goddammit, I can't do this anymore, just stop!
GRACE
John, I know what you're hinting at...
GRACE
about us...
GRACE
about art...
GRACE
John,
GRACE
don't leave now!
GRACE
Do you two want to hear the honest truth? Huh?
GRACE
John, do you want that?
JOHN
yes
(JOHN puts down the brass bull.)
GRACE
Trip, huh?
TRIP
Yes...!
GRACE
See, John, I've been listening carefully to what you've been saying tonight.
GRACE
You've really been pushing me.
GRACE
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend...?
TRIP
Grace!
GRACE
John, I've got to ask you -- yes or no...
JOHN
thats not true
GRACE
Do you really think that...
GRACE
criticizing Trip...
GRACE
and what you said about forgiving and forgetting...
GRACE
that we're supposed to now understand something about ourselves from all that?
GRACE
Is all of that arguing intended to mean something, or...
GRACE
Is it? Just give me a yes or a no.
GRACE
This is not a trick question. -- (interrupted)
JOHN
what can i say?
GRACE
No, John, I just want a yes or no.
JOHN
why?
GRACE
No? Huh, well, I thought it did add up to something, actually.
GRACE
Trip, I --
GRACE
I let you stop me from being an artist.
JOHN
stop
TRIP
You let me --
GRACE
I was afraid, Trip okay?
JOHN
shut
GRACE
I -- I admit it.
JOHN
shhh
GRACE
I didn't know if -- if I could do it, be a real artist...
JOHN
no
GRACE
And I've been using you as an excuse for why I didn't do it.
JOHN
stop
GRACE
uhh...
JOHN
trip close the door
TRIP
uhh...
TRIP
Jesus...!
TRIP
John, I --
JOHN
shut up grace
TRIP
What?!
GRACE
This changes everything...
TRIP
Yes, it does change everything.
JOHN
stop!!!
TRIP
And no, John, please...
JOHN
please
TRIP
I think it's over.
GRACE
Trip, what --
JOHN
dont go!
TRIP
No!!
TRIP
It's over, Grace, don't you see that?
JOHN
STOP
GRACE
Wha... I just told you --
TRIP
You just told me something about us you should have said a long time ago:
JOHN
please!!!
TRIP
You've been using me as an excuse to not be an artist...
TRIP
And no, John, no more!
GRACE
Trip, no, I... you...
(JOHN knocks on the front door.)
(JOHN closes the front door.)
TRIP
No, Grace, this isn't about you, or me, it's about us...
TRIP
Our marriage. I see that now.
GRACE
Us...? Our -- our marriage...? Hey, no, wait!
JOHN
stop
TRIP
John, I'm sorry. You really helped us though, so, thanks.
GRACE
Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
JOHN
stop now
(Trip closes the front door.)
